What in the Sam Hell was I Thinking?

So today starts Urinetown rehearsals. WHATEVER! The important thing
here is ME! Due to a deal that I made with Matt Korinko, I agreed to
quit smoking today (so did he, however there was a caveat to my
agreement and Chris Peterson knows what that was). Nevertheless, I
quit today. Not without help (cold turkey is only good for sandwiches
after Thanksgiving). I went to one of these "I'm so modern-ultra hip-
more enlightened than thou-guru houses" and got the auricular
therapy. SO here I am in the room waiting when in comes my
alternative medicine expert. Now call me ignorant, but I really
expected the person walking in the door to sell me on this idea. I
wanted to see either A; an old asian man with a mortar and pestle
that referred to me a Scotti-son (wipe on wipe off), or B; a crystal
having, paisley wearing woman who lives in her sandals that are made
from the natural wood of an ancient tree that has fallen in the
forest and everyone ponders whether or not anyone heard it fall.

WRONG! Big fat old white guy... with cream cheese on his chin! WHAT?
I am paying $90 for some guy that just woofed down a bagel from Bread
Co and doesn't have the basic table manners to wipe his damn chin? So
then he speaks... and once again I was disappointed. His voice wasn't
even soothing and his breath smelled faintly of asiago cheese....
which made me hungry which, in turn, made me want to smoke... GREAT
START!

Cut to me laying on the "pedestal of enlightenment" (my description
not theirs) and he starts zapping me with electric stimuli. And he's
explaining, as only a overly middle-aged, white, suburban male guru
can, how great this is for your body and that is actually removing
the nicotine and the tingling is proof that is working. My bad! I
thought the tingling was this little thing that Ben Franklin
discovered called electricity! This new aged stuff is COOL!

SO anyway, he gets done, and despite all my himming and hawing, and
of course my now overwhelming urge to get a bagel from Bread Co., I
felt pretty okay. I am taking a double pronged approach though, so
I'm not sure if it was the mystical thing that faintly resembled
electricity, or if it was the nicotine patch that I had on my tummy
at the time... the world may never know.

And NO I didn't get a bagel because I stupidly enough started a diet
on the same day (precautionary measure to prevent the oral fixation
from attaching itself to food).

Shanti! Shanti! More later.

Now you can go back to surfing for porn!

HBH